I remember it like it was yesterday. I was forced to see the woman that stood in the mirror. Although, it was my reflection, she didn't look anything like me. She looked so broken and unhappy. I didn't really recognize the person that I was seeing. Tears started to flow down my face...at that time I knew something had to change...starting with Myself.
To everyone else I looked like everything was ok but it was all lie. Inside I was slowly dying on the inside and just existing. Living life the way others wanted me to, trying to keep everyone happy, even the ones that didn't deserve it. I wasn't being true to myself. Well, that was six years ago. I was forced to look in the mirror and realize that life is to short to live in an unhappy state of mind. Life is to short to be afraid to live it to it's fullest and life is just way to short live it on other ppl terms. Six years ago I decided to start working on "ME" and although I still stumble and fall. The fall is a little different and the way I lift myself up has changed...I may fall but I get back up!!! If you ask me what was the worst day of my life, I would have to say the day I was forced to "Look in the Mirror". If you ask me what was the best day of my life, I would have to say the same day. I know you're thinking how could that be, you see on that day I realized that I had wasted so many years of my life living for others and now I was looking at the reflection of a woman I barely knew. I was letting life past me by without question. I didn't know her likes or dislikes, I didn't know where she was going, she had no goals, no dreams, she was just existing and that scared be so, I realized I wanted to Live Life, so on that same day I decided to step into my "Greatness" and "To Be Happy" no matter what. I had to figure out who I really was..It took a lot of soul searching and some days I'm still searching but I now know who holds all the answer to all my questions..God... He has taken me to a place in my life where I thought I could never attain...Peace and Happiness within myself. I now know who Mari is and I will continue to learn new things about her everyday. And I am able to wake everyday with a Smile...knowing the best in yet to come...and the Best is within me.I have fallen in love with "ME" and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world.My journey is ongoing but now I know no one can stop but myself. I was made for this. Onwards and Upwards is where I'm headed... In the words of Ms. Whitney Houston "I Didn't Know My Own Strength", But I do Now!!! Today the woman I see when I look in the mirror...She Is Me..She is Who I Am...I Love Her...Flaws & All!! ~~~PEACE & BLESSINGS~~~ ~~~MARI~~~
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AuthorMARI BRITTON FLOOD- Archives
May 2019
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